GRUMPY GUIDE
Museum tours for those who know nothing.
We'll explain it all… if you can handle it.
FEATURED WORKS
Don't worry if you don't understand any of this.
That's normal given your IQ.
Chromatic Equilibrium
Zephyr Moonwhisker, 2019
"Just colorful chairs. Your toddler could've done this, except they didn't—so it's worth millions."
Urban Chaos Symphony
Pixelora Grimbolt, 2015
"If you think this is just graffiti, congratulations on missing decades of art history education."
Two Rectangles
Rigby Squareson, 1989
"Two squares. It took you 30 seconds to look at it. It took the artist 40 years to make it this simple."
Infinite Possibilities
Dotty McSpeckle, 2014
"It's a room full of balloons. Deep, isn't it? Try not to hurt yourself thinking about infinity."
Domestic Artifacts #3
Rusty Chairborne, 1997
"Ordinary household objects recontextualized as art. Profound? Or just things your grandparents threw away?"
Textile Narratives
Threadwick Weaverly, 2018
"Centuries of craftsmanship woven into every thread.
But yeah, it's basically just fancy cloth."
READY TO FACE REALITY?
Join a Grumpy Guide tour and experience art without the sugar coating.
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